adoption-competent therapy
because adoption is a complex, lifelong journey
Adoption is a journey that shapes identity, relationships, and emotional wellbeing in ways that can be both rewarding and challenging. While adoption can bring a sense of connection and belonging, it can also bring complex emotions that may surface at different stages of life. The experience of adoption doesn’t exist in isolation, it is woven into family dynamics, personal identity, and the ways individuals relate to themselves and others.
Each person’s adoption story is unique and so are the challenges that may arise. Processing adoption-related emotions can be difficult, especially when it feels like others don’t fully understand what you’re going through. Feelings of uncertainty, loss, or disconnection may arise, sometimes unexpectedly. Navigating these experiences requires compassion, self-awareness, and support from someone who understands the complexities of adoption.
Therapy provides a space to explore these emotions, gain clarity, and develop tools to navigate adoption-related challenges with greater confidence and self-understanding. Whether adoption has always been a central part of your identity or you are just beginning to process its impact, therapy can help you make sense of your experiences and move forward in a way that feels authentic and empowering.
what exactly is
adoption-competent therapy?
Adoption-competent therapy is a specialized therapeutic approach that is specifically designed to address the unique experiences, challenges, and emotions of those involved in adoption—whether adopted individuals, birth parents, or adoptive parents. This type of therapy acknowledges that adoption is not just a positive, feel-good narrative—it can lead to significant emotional challenges including grief, loss, and uncertainty. Many adopted children are often mislabeled with mental health diagnoses, such as ADHD or anxiety, when the root causes of their struggles lie in unresolved adoption-related trauma. Adoption-competent therapy helps identify and address these underlying issues, rather than simply treating symptoms with misdiagnosis.
By focusing on the impact of adoption, adoption-competent therapy ensures that both the positive and challenging aspects of adoption are understood and processed. It supports all members of the adoption triad in healing, while fostering healthier emotional development and stronger relationships.
how therapy can help
to adoption
from my story to yours:
my personal connection
I was born to teenage parents and adopted into a loving, supportive family at just three days old. Raised as an only child through a private adoption, I was surrounded by endless love, care, and resources. My parents were always open about my adoption and encouraged me to express my feelings, no matter how complex or difficult they were.
Despite having such an incredible family, I grew up experiencing a sense of loss that I couldn’t fully understand or explain. While I’ve always been deeply grateful for my parents, the grief and unknowns surrounding my adoption weighed heavily on me throughout much of my life. I didn’t want to burden them with my sadness, anger, or confusion, nor hurt their feelings or imply a lack of gratitude by expressing these emotions. Because I couldn’t verbalize them, my emotions often came out in other ways—through actions, outbursts, and misunderstandings that only added to the complexity of my feelings.
At 18, I was able to meet my birth parents, their families, and my four half-brothers, which filled a void I hadn’t even realized was there. While I’ve built positive relationships and maintain contact with both sides of my birth family, I’m still learning to navigate the complexities of those connections.
My personal journey has profoundly shaped my passion for adoption-competent therapy. I deeply understand the complexities adoption brings to life, and how, even with a positive adoption experience, underlying feelings of loss, grief, and identity confusion can still surface—often in ways that are difficult to identify or fully comprehend. These emotions may not always be apparent and can emerge at different stages of life, regardless of how supportive or secure the adoptive family is. Therapy can help individuals process these nuanced feelings, offering a clearer understanding of adoption's ongoing impact, even within the context of a positive upbringing. This is why I am committed to providing a space where others can explore their own adoption journeys with the understanding, support, and guidance they deserve.
frequently asked questions
who is involved in sessions?
adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents can all participate in individual, parent, or family sessions. for example, adoptees may work individually on identity and grief, while adoptive parents might focus on supporting their child and strengthening their family dynamics. in some cases, all members of the adoption triad might participate in joint sessions to address communication and relationship issues.
should I tell my child that they are adopted?
absolutely! it’s recommended to tell your child, and the earlier, the better. adoption is an important part of their identity, and being open about it helps create a foundation of trust. adoption-competent therapy can guide you on how to approach these conversations, ensuring they are age-appropriate and that the child feels secure and loved throughout the process. the goal is to foster positive, open communication and relationships with adoption as part of the story.
what if my adopted child has behavioral concerns?
disciplining an adopted child requires a focus on building security and predictability rather than relying on punitive methods like time-outs. because adopted children have experienced attachment disruptions, trauma, or instability before being adopted, creating a structured environment with clear expectations and consistent routines can be more effective. adoption-competent therapy can help you understand your child’s emotional needs and guide you in using positive discipline strategies that emphasize connection, communication, and emotional regulation to help them feel safe and supported.
what age group(s) can benefit from adoption-competent therapy?
adoption-competent therapy is suitable for individuals of all ages, from young children to adults. for younger children, therapy may involve play therapy or family sessions to help them express their feelings. teens and adults can explore more complex issues like identity, grief, and attachment. since each stage of life presents different adoption-related challenges, therapy can be tailored to meet the specific needs of the individual or family.
does my child who was adopted at birth need adoption-competent therapy?
although a child may not consciously remember the events surrounding their adoption, early separation can still impact their emotional development and attachment. pre-verbal trauma or implicit memories may influence their sense of self, attachment patterns, and emotional responses. therapy can help address these early experiences, support identity development, and provide tools to navigate any feelings of loss, confusion, or grief that may arise as the child grows.
how do we address racial differences?
addressing racial and cultural differences in adoption is essential for fostering a healthy sense of identity and belonging. it’s important to create an environment where your child feels proud of their cultural background and can explore it openly. this includes openly discussing race, ethnicity, and cultural heritage in an age-appropriate way. adoption-competent therapy can provide support in understanding how to navigate these conversations, helping parents engage in open dialogue while also addressing any challenges that arise related to cultural differences. it’s about fostering an inclusive, respectful space where your child’s identity is fully recognized and valued.
ready to process your own adoption journey?
start today!
the adoptee experience: where lived experience & clinical understanding collide
